Sept. 3: Bilbo was able to kill giant spiders by throwing rocks at them

Tolkien made it very clear that Hobbits have excellent hand-to-eye coordination. We all know that the birds and beasts of The Shire ran if they saw a hobbit stoop for a stone. I'll accept that Bilbo could throw a rock very hard and very accurately. If he could kill a rabbit, that would be extraordinary. Could anyone other than a major league pitcher with a 97 mile per hour fastball actually kill a wild animal by throwing a rock at it?


Could anyone throw a rock well enough to kill a giant spider? Bulbo killed a number of giant spiders in Mirkwood. They weren't super-giant spiders, like pilot Clint Eastwood killed with napalm in Tarantula. But even if they were only the size of an Irish Wolfhound, killing one with a rock would be difficult. Even if it stood completely still. Spiders (even giant spiders) have chitinous exoskeletons, which would repel most attacks. If not, what's the point of being a spider? 


Plus, one must assume that giant spiders have a limited number of vulnerable spots, but what would they be, other than the brain? You can't kick them in the groin or punch their kidneys. Bilbo went for the eyes with Sting, but that's not a lethal blow. Three books later, Sam Gamgee mortally wounded Shelob with a lucky blow to the abdomen from underneath, but Shelob provided all the force for the blow herself. Could Bilbo really have killed all those spiders by hitting them in the head with a rock? 


On the other hand, could Bilbo's ring really make anyone invisible? 

Birthday Observance Idea

Please, don't attempt to kill a creature of any size with a thrown rock. But ask around a see if you know anyone that ever did so. Or rent the film Tarantula (1955, directed by Jack Arnold) to see a factually based, highly realistic depiction of how humans, rather than hobbits, fight giant spiders. I love the smell of napalm in the morning, Bilbo.

To read my loving, insightful, full-length parody of The Hobbit, order a copy of my eBook The Wobbit on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004ZR9ELK

To visit The Wobbit website: http://www.thewobbitaparody.com